Define "chronic" masturbator.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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