yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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