Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
