My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
