Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
