I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
