No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
