Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Bring me that man meat
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
