just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
