I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
