If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
