i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
