She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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