boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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