Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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