did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I looked at my own cervix.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
