He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
