i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
