does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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