she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Im part way to drunk.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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