Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We're too hungover to prance.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
