what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
