I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
