At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
