...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
