Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
