some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
