I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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