I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
