I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
