Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
