I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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