Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
