AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
