smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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