i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
