Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
