yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
