Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
