you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
