Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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