I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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