Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
