He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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