his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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