Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
