Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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