I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
