A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
and i looked up. we had an audience...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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