a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
